How I know that I'm a real vampire.
If you are one of these people that believe that credentials are what determine how much of a real vampire some one is, then fine here are mine. However, credentials aren't what makes a person a real vampire, when it comes to being a vampire you either are a real vampire or you're not. Actually after writing this it seems more like a life story but trust me this is only one part of my life.
At 12 years old I was developing a strong interest in vampires. I had no thoughts that I might be one but I always instinctively knew what things in vampire movies was bullshit and what was fact. I got told many times by many people that it was all bullshit, because "real vampires aren’t real". :-) I always told them that they were wrong; something in me just knew it and knew the truth.
Four years later I started noticing traits that I always knew were the true facts about real vampires starting to develop in me, at this time I was 16. I began working with these traits and trying to make the best of the bad ones, and use the good ones to their fullest potential; this included being on the swim team, as well as the after school soccer team, while pulling A's and B's in all of my classes, except English and History. Because history class was my first class of the day I was too tired to stay awake, due to me always being a night person, go figure eh?
Not to mention at this age I had started my own coven, technically making me a priest. Problem is they don’t ordain you before 18 years of age. So for all of the people out there that somehow think their rehashed ideas are more important than mine because they had their heads stuck in books and websites, I'll be out living you by a long shot because my physical health blows yours away. I guess you could call that my self awakening, and compared to most peoples awakenings that qualifies as one. However compared to what was to happen to me as time went on it registers as little more than a mild realization.
This continued to grow in my mind as I started to realize more and more that I was developing as an energy user, as well as other interests at a rate that had me doing stuff in energy use that most 40 year old practitioners weren't doing. To put it in to a relative point of view, I was a high priest at the age of 19, so really don't ever tell me you are a high priest/ess in an attempt to impress me by your knowledge.
Jumping to when I was about 20-21 years old. At this time I was sure that if real vampires existed that I must be one, but for some odd reason whenever asked, and I was getting asked increasingly more frequently, I never said that I was one with confidence. I only said that if real vampires existed then I must be one. To give an idea this is the point where everyone believes in full confidence that they are one, that is as in the group called the "vampire community" Their delusions are fed by others in that this group is falsely convinced that they are real vampires as well (which by my count is about 98% of them).
At 23 I knew I was a vampire, I was able to do everything that anyone who referred to themselves as a real vampire could do. I had all of the traits. I was able to say yes to all but 2 of the traits on my website that they had, that included the ones that I could tell by feel were vampires. Those of you who know what I mean by that feel know exactly what I'm talking about. For those of you that don't, I really try to help the best I can with this page. It was great, I was completely developed, I was doing really cool stuff, I was even doing some stuff that people still try to tell me is myth like biting for blood painlessly. Easy to teach takes a little practice to get good at, sort of like chess.
Early December 2001 Something started to feel missing, I was looking for something. It started to feel like I wasn’t completely what a real vampire is, and I started trying to figure out what that was. I started doing stuff to try to make myself a target to be found by real vampires, hoping that one would find me and either get a hold of me in a good way or a bad way. At that time I didn't care which way it was. Before anyone goes thinking that they could have done that easily, don’t even think about it. There isn't a single person in the 265 yahoo groups (that are all parts of the "vampire community") that I'm a member of (my name on these groups is whyte_panther22@yahoo aka steve) currently that I would have believed to be a real vampire. Except maybe the exception of Sappho. So I knew what I was, I knew I was missing something, and I knew I would know when I found it.
December 12 2001: This is when I started having weird dreams. Most of which were vamp related. All of the weird ones revolved around me meeting someone that looked the same in each dream, to where even though I'm bad at drawing I was able to draw her picture near perfectly. You may be asking yourself, why is a guy who couldn't remember his age earlier in this post able to remember exact dates, easy answer strong emotions create strong memories.
January 21st 2002: I'm in a little known chatroom website that is currently closed down beseen.com, talking like I usually did and a new person comes in. Didn't really say anything but was just lurking. I figured the person was just quiet because they were new and didn’t know anyone there, but following my instincts I dropped like half of the conversations I was having (was a regular I knew everyone there) and started talking to her. Were talking for a bit and really hitting it off well. Her name is Raven.
She didn't have a pic up of her because she was on webtv, but little in to the conversation she linked her website to her name and asked me what I thought of it. The website was very loudly speaking the theme of vampire and in dreams. Being half awake it didn't fully click, but I did get the theme and I did love the site though, so I told her that I loved the site (a phrase I remember from the site was "walk with me and I'll show you things" and later she did). She said she didn't think that I understood the site so I told her the theme of it. Do not call me an idiot I was half awake at the time.
But I should mention that I completely got lost in talking to her and even though I didn't really think she was a real vampire yet, and she only said it once without pressing the issue of me believing her, which wasn't how most claiming to be real vampires act. I didn't realize that at this point I had completely stopped talking to everybody else. After a bit more talking we realized that it was getting late, as in about 5am late:-), and decided we both had to go to sleep.
January 22 (next day): I wake up. The website completely clicked, as well as everything that happened the night before. It’s evening time. I run to the computer and hop in to the chat hoping she was there. Two hours later we are dating and talking on the phone. On an interesting note a blue moon happened that month. I started telling her about the dreams that I had been having. She told me of her having similar dreams, and was able to describe me without having seen a picture of me.
I was describing her as well, and asked about accuracy. She didn't say how accurate, but told me she would mail me pictures if I gave her somewhere to mail them to. I've always been a bold kid; some one threatens me online I give them my real address and phone number to confirm it, so I gave her mine with no hesitation. When they came in the mail a lot of them looked just like the pic I had drawn that she still doesn't know that I drew, but one was an exact look alike. Lol, she hates that picture because she doesn't think it looks much like her, but its my favorite because it looks exactly like how I knew her to look from the dreams and my drawing.
Oh God I'm rambling, alright we’re talking about dreams, wishes, stuff of those sorts, making arrangements to meet in person, even bought the ticket. Worth mentioning February 23rd, knowing my birthday is coming up, she asks me if the question of "If I could have anything I wanted what would it be." I told her I haven't seen my dad since I was about 3. I know it’s impossible because no one knows where he is, but I'd like to see him some day. She told me "maybe if we both wish for it to happen, it will happen"
Feb 25th my birthday: I go to a restaurant that I go to at times but not often, and there's a guy there that I felt like I had known a long time but didn't remember him (looked familiar though). I didn't recognize who he was and didn't really say anything to him, saw him though. After a bit when I went in to the restroom and out of the corner of my eye in the mirror it looked like he had followed me in. Spun around real quick thinking that it was some perv, and realized that it was my reflection.
Mom always said I looked exactly like my dad from the side. I bolted out of there to try to catch him hoping he hadn’t left. When I got out my friend told me that the "weird guy" that had been looking at me in the restaurant left, saying that he had "really fucked up this time." He paid for our meal with a credit card and you get one guess whose name it was. To this day I still don’t know how that happened, but the guy had a very strong real vampire feel.
March 3rd: I went out and saw her. The connection was even closer in person than it was while on the phone or online. So to speak I walked with her, and quite literally she showed me things. Things that I hear way to many saying real vampires can’t do. Things that me and you all, if I didn't know better would say are impossible, so I'm not going to say them because if anyone believed me without proof I'd actually have less respect for them. However anyone that mentions doing odd stuff that I know is a sign of being able to do those things I will teach them how to do it.
We also exchanged blood, many times :-). Changes happened to me. She to this day says she didn’t turn me, that she only awakened me, and for the next few years I was sure that she had turned me (yes it was that many changes). But about 2 years ago and definitely after reading this, I kind of wonder, but at very least she definitely changed me to something more than I was before. In more ways than I think that she knows now.
The story of me and her only begins there and it’s sadly not the best ending.
My knowledge on vampires comes from her, multiple sources that by the standards that I have always herald are vampires, and me traveling to 47 states and multiple countries to find where the highest amounts of vampires per capital are to get a true feel for where we may all have originated from. As with anything of this nature you know where it originated by where the highest majority of people have it are, not to mention going to where that source is and learning from the people that have it the strongest. I've met about 3 out of 5 of the oldest strongest living real vampires today and have learned more than a lot will ever imagine.
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